Am still trying to adapt things after Daddy left us..bohonglaa if i said i can teruskan hidup ini dengan begitu mudah skali tanpa memikirkan kenangan bersama daddy...it will take some time to adapt.. like hubby always says to me..its true as he lost his beloved father 4 years ago..i guess i am not as strong as him yang begitu sabar dan tabah..while i am a softer heart type where i tend to easily mengalir air mata..and i salute my beloved mum yang begitu tabah..takda setitik air mata pun yang keluar when she knows that daddy will not be able to survive the 2nd stroke.. but dalam hati siapa yg tahu kan..hanya ALLAH sahaja yg mengetahui..19hb memang i will remember it the rest of my life coz i lost both my dad and my father in law on 19hb..my dad passed away on 19th June while my father in law passed away on 19th July 2006..
Weeks before daddy left us i manage to be with him as we slept in TTDI due to hubby had some job to do..so we didn;t send the kids to school for weeks and most of the time Najla and Emran spend time with him while i' working..he was so happy when the kids were around especially when Emran loves to godak-godak his wheelchair and kacau the radio+ playing golf balls with him..it just makes him happy ..during the last week he always says sakit kepala but sakit tu mcm hilang bila dia main dgn Emran..
Ada satu malam tu kalau tak silap 2 weeks ago Abg Dolah, Kak Mala, Kak Wiha, Kak Jidah datang visit him at night.. mereka bercerita kisah -kisah dahulu and can se him laughing all his heart menceritakan kisah -kisah dahulu.. Kak Mala pun inform me tak pernah tengok daddy se happy tu..and also he ceritakan kisah -kisah lama pada abg Mat ,,
i guess he knows that the time had come for him untuk kembali kepada NYA..that's why he refuses to go to the hospital although dia sakit kepala..that's why he always says to me that nabi pun hidup sampai usianya 63 tahun sahaja and this year daddy is 63.. Daddy also seakan tahu dia akan pergi coz he was so happy he manage to sell the TTDI home, manage to purchase Rossa@ Denai Alam but only didn't manage to pindah ke rumah baru which was schedule in 2 months time..sebaliknya dia pindah ke "rumah" dan "alam" yang lain..
I browse thru daddy's SMS in his HP..ada satu SMS yang dia send pada Kak Fidah yang menyentuh hati which says like this " Time is not with us, i want to be nearer to my children so Denai Alam is the best place for me to live..."
it will be different without him as every morning sebelum pergi kerja @ PBD i will be at TTDI and meet him and brought his morning newspaper..now nak pergi kerja pun tak ada mood coz pasti akan terkenang -kenang and also i am glad i will be no longer at PBD starting next month.. cepatlaa masa berlalu..tak sanggup rasanya nak lalui minggu ini dan minggu depan...
today together with hubby we went to JPN utk buat sijil kematiannya..and i know it will be a long process for us to settle a few things regarding harta arwah dsb..
Ya ALLAH i almost broke down every day and doa pada Allah moga ada kekuatan dan ketabahan dan moga roh daddy ditempatkan di kalangan ahli -ahli jannah..hanya doa anak aje yang akan sampai pada seorang ayah..and i hope the family bond between uncles, aunties,cousins anak sedara dsb sebelah arwah Daddy will always be strong as ever eventho arwah telah pergi...and next year insyaallah we will do the best for my youngest sister wedding sebagai memenuhi amanat terakhir arwah..
Separuh jiwaku pergi..and i will miss you always
4 comments:
to get over this is not easy, it takes years sometimes or sometimes some never recover. at least don't ever ada regrets. ur dad get his wishes to be near with his children. slalu dia ulang2 psl tu.
mimi pun terasa sgt kehilangan arwah sebab mimi membesar dgn uncle.. jasa uncle pada mimi terlalu besar. smpi sekarang mimi bila terkenang sure nangis.
yana,
one day at a time...sometimes when you're stuck making a decision, think about what he had taught you..that's what we did....our family bond is too strong, so don't worry and if you need any help just say so...insyallah we'll be there...truthfully, I'm glad and bersyukur dapat bersama till the end since masa my parents pergi dulu tak sempat berada di sisi, but then they will always remain in my heart...semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh mereka dan diletakkan di sisi orang2 yg beriman.
tabahkan hati to yana & family...i know it is easier said than done. Pls accept my apologies also as I couldn't come around to visit. I'll try to visit you & family ASAP. Will call you. With love, and take care
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