Tuesday, June 29, 2010

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY EMRAN DANISH ( Belated one)

          Our boy turns ONE on 18th June 2010..kesian Emran coz we did not have anything for him since time tue arwah Atuk dia was in ICU..the initial plan is to celebrate the birthday at TTDI on that day with Arwah Daddy, Mummy , Shatirah etc..just a small one ..dah ingat dah nak beli small kek and also p.i.z.z.a.h.u.t.. tapi ALLAH had greater plan for us..kita hanya merancang hanya ALLAH yg menentukan..tak sempat pun nak buat apa..

           I am so sorry for you sweetheart..we will plan another small celebration later next month insyaallah..perhaps buat bbq just a small celebration with family...and Ummi will never forgot your birthday the rest of my life as your birthday will reminds me on the day your Atuk left us just one dayafter you turn 1 year old..18th June , 19th June and 20th June i will  never forget these 3 days.. 20th June is my bro inlaw birthday and also my adik angkat, Huda's birthday..

             kejap jer Emran dah one year old..rasa mcm baru aje menemani dia keluar masuk hospital kerana jaundice dia tak turun -turun..he spend most of the first few weeks of his life keluar masuk hospital Pantai and also DSH...and kebetulan pula 12 hari selepas Emran lahir arwah Daddy kena stroke and he shared the same hospital and same floor with Arwah Daddy at DSH in June last year..and i did not even had time berpantang after lahirkan Emran... i guess maybe it will effect my health later tapi berserah ajelaa,,

            Emran loves to kiss people's cheeks and says muuuuaaaaksss...( haiihh mana belajar nie..^_^ ).. he still belum boleh jalan lagi ..same like his sister yang start "ada kaki " after 1 yearr ++..and beware dia akan rapat dgn orang yang ada makanan coz he loves tu "cukai" people's food by saying nakkk..nakkkk..nakkkk..hehehe..

           HAPPY 1 YEAR OLD EMRAN DANISH...


              
               

            

          

  

Monday, June 21, 2010

Separuh jiwaku pergi..

Am still trying to adapt things after Daddy left us..bohonglaa if i said i can teruskan hidup ini dengan begitu mudah skali tanpa memikirkan kenangan bersama daddy...it will take some time to adapt.. like hubby always says to me..its true as he lost his beloved father 4 years ago..i guess i am not as strong as him yang begitu sabar dan tabah..while i am a softer  heart type where i tend to easily mengalir air mata..and i salute my beloved mum yang begitu tabah..takda setitik air mata pun yang keluar when she knows that daddy will not be able to survive the 2nd stroke.. but dalam hati siapa yg tahu kan..hanya ALLAH sahaja yg  mengetahui..19hb memang i will remember it the rest of my life coz i lost both my dad and my father in law on 19hb..my dad passed away on 19th June while my father in law passed away on 19th July 2006..

   Weeks before daddy left us i manage to be with him as we slept in TTDI due to hubby had some job to do..so we didn;t send the kids to school for weeks  and most of the time Najla and Emran spend time with him while i' working..he was so happy when the kids were around especially when Emran loves to godak-godak his wheelchair and kacau the radio+ playing golf balls with him..it just makes him happy ..during the last week he always says sakit kepala but  sakit tu mcm hilang bila dia main dgn Emran..

 Ada satu malam tu kalau tak silap 2 weeks ago Abg Dolah, Kak Mala, Kak Wiha, Kak Jidah datang visit him at night.. mereka bercerita kisah -kisah dahulu and can se him laughing all his heart menceritakan kisah -kisah dahulu.. Kak Mala pun inform me tak pernah tengok daddy se happy tu..and also he ceritakan kisah -kisah lama pada abg Mat ,,

  i guess he knows that the time had come for him untuk kembali kepada NYA..that's why he refuses to go to the hospital although dia sakit kepala..that's why he always says to me that nabi pun hidup sampai usianya 63 tahun sahaja and this year daddy is 63.. Daddy also seakan tahu dia akan pergi coz he was so happy he manage to sell the TTDI home, manage to purchase Rossa@ Denai Alam but only didn't manage to pindah ke rumah baru which was schedule in 2 months time..sebaliknya dia pindah ke "rumah" dan "alam" yang lain..

 
   I browse thru daddy's SMS in his HP..ada satu SMS yang dia send pada Kak Fidah yang menyentuh hati which says like this " Time is not with us, i want to be nearer to my children so Denai Alam is the best place for me to live..." 

    it will be different without him as every morning sebelum pergi kerja @ PBD i will be at TTDI and meet him and brought his morning newspaper..now nak pergi kerja pun tak ada mood coz pasti akan terkenang -kenang and also i am glad i will be no longer at PBD starting next month.. cepatlaa masa berlalu..tak sanggup rasanya nak lalui minggu ini dan minggu depan...

today together with hubby we went to JPN utk buat sijil kematiannya..and i know it will be a long process for us to settle a few things regarding harta arwah dsb..

Ya ALLAH i almost broke down every day and doa pada Allah moga ada kekuatan dan ketabahan dan moga roh daddy ditempatkan di kalangan ahli -ahli jannah..hanya doa anak aje yang akan sampai pada seorang ayah..and i hope the family bond between  uncles, aunties,cousins anak sedara dsb sebelah arwah Daddy will always be strong as ever eventho arwah telah pergi...and next year insyaallah we will do the best for my youngest sister wedding sebagai memenuhi amanat terakhir arwah..

 Separuh jiwaku pergi..and i will miss you always


 
  

  

    

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I LOST MY BELOVED DADDY..

 19th June 2010..Daddy telah kembali kepada penciptaNYA..  i am lost with words and i certainly feel very empty and sad..Daddy passed away as his injury was so severe ...i certainly will remember this day for the rest of my life..

  around morning at 9.00am when we arrived at Hospital Sg Buloh, keadaan Daddy memang dah nazak dah..he depends on life support machine..the Blood pressure is going down and down..so we gathered all the relatives to sama -sama berdoa dan bisikkan kalimah syahadah ke telinganya..Dr came around 11,00am and he inform us that daddy in actual fact dah brain dead..his pernafasan depends on the life support machine..once the machine tarik his Heart rate will eventually drop to 0...after discussion  we agreed to tarik his life support machine as we don't want to seksa him... sudah tiba masanya untuk dia kembali kepada PenciptaNYA....this is the difficult moment in my life.. i broke down and cry..rasa mcm sesak nafas sangat...Ya Allah tabahkanlaa hati ini..tabahkanlaa hati ini..tak putus -putus hati ini berdoa..i went out of ICU to called and take a deep breath..i hug Kak Ri and told her everything daddy dah takde dahhh ..ya Allah..ya Allah..we both cry .. i went down to the car untuk daptkan Emran and Najla..what saddens me Najla really broke down and cry bila dia dapat tahu Atuk dah tak ada..
  Jenazah Daddy telah dimandikan dan dikapankan di Hospital..then jenazah terus di bawa ke Masjid At Taqwa TTDI   al gufran TTDI.. alhamdulillah ramai yang datang untuk sembahyangkan jenazah daddy buat kali ke 2 di Masjid..selepas Asar Jenazah terus di bawa ke Tanah Perkuburan Islam bukit Kiara untuk dikebumikan..

     Hari -hari yang akan kami lalui sekarang pastinya akan berbeza tanpa Daddy... innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiuun..

Saturday, June 19, 2010

DADDY in ICU

              It all started with a frequent headache.. dan dengan sekelip mata pada hari Khamis Dad tidak sedarkan diri.. masa tu he is  having high fever so in a rush my elder brother and my lil sis rush to Appolo TTDi to request for doctor to come home for a while an take a look..the dr said cannot laa etc...apa punya doctor..bangang..agaknya kalau ada org  tgh kritikal pun mmg tak boleh diselamatkan laa dgn sikap mcm nie..padanlaa Apollo tue tak ada org nak pergi..very -very bad service..

            so fine..we call an ambulance.. so ambulance bring him to Damansara Specialist Hospital .. Dia dah start having some fits..probably due to the high fever that he had..so after he is stabilized they did a CT Scan.. and the results shows that his brain dah swollen and ada pendarahan..kami semua terkejut..it was the 2nd stroke attack.. so he was admitted in ICU Damansara Specialist..cuma the day he was admitted  Waiting game begin coz there were NO Neurosergeon in KL / SELANGOR...semua pergi bercuti or either off duty etc... i guess Malaysian standard of health services was really annoying and also ketinggalan zaman..
so they just call from one hospital to another hospital to ask if there is the specialist available..Dalam masa yang sama my mum plan to pindahkan Dad to hospital kerajaan ..the bill sure kena melampau mahal kalau terus stay..

                  Finally one neurosurgeon from Ampang Putri datang...he explain the consequences..my mum awal -awal lagi had made a decision no to surgery or tebuk tebuk what so ever.. kalau the chances is slim she told us to redha dan sabar..mum does not want the dr to do try and error etc when they know the chances is slim and when tak berjaya the bills willl then shoot up to 200k... kekdg trick hospital swasta mmg macam tue utk dapat duit. like what happens to my arwah FIL

             So we agreed to transfer him to Sg Buloh Hospital...He is now in ICU and our prayers and doa moga Daddy dapat regain conscious kembali...Ya ALLAH berikan kekuatan kepada kami semua untuk menghadapi dugaan ini..

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Half year berlalu..

 year 2010 dah masuk June...dah half year dah kita tinggalkan tahun 2010..untuk kami sekeluarga tahun ini  benar -benar quite mencabar for us...yess ( tarik nafas panjang....) takpelaa kami still masih berusaha dan akan hadapinya dgn sabar..insyaallah..life is not a straight line..pastinya setiap perjalanan hidup itu ada ranjau dugaan yang perlu dihadapi..setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya dan redha dan sabar adalah yang terbaik dari mengeluh..

        This month also i will end my contract with W*tS*n since they wanna change the term contract without my consent.. dah laa menyusahkan haku kena panjat tangga cenderasari utk explain dan beri penjelasan pada pihak yang berkenaan pastu sedap aje "cuci tangan  buat tatau and nak pinjam lesen free-free..banyak cantikkk...

         I am a free lancer and got to do locum job in W*tS*n "rival" ( guess every one tau which one..sume bole agak punya...) to be based in  Bukit Raja...the driving distance i guess will save me a lot of time compared to the current location..i will be nearer to Denai Alam..

          I do sacrifice everything for the sake of my kids... i want to spend more time with them especially during the weekends and public holidays to i rejected all the luxurios offer ( i would say that ) to work on weekends or Public Holidays...it is  PRICELESS to see their faces when they woke up in the morning on saturday/sunday/ public holiday knowing that  both of us cuti + diorang tak payah ke sekolah..

         i guess by the time Najla dah masuk standard one i would opt for just a short time locum so that i will be able to hantar and amik dia sekolah..with all the crazy people around nowdays where so many cases yang menakutkan i will never trust a stranger to send and pick up Najla to/from school..

         

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Siapa laa yg mengajar ?..ishh..ishhh

 Setiap kali Najla marah kat orang she will says Gatal...example if dia marah kat atuk dia she will say atuk nie Gatal...if adik usik barang dia she says Adik nie...Gatal...hahahaha..siapa laa yg mengajar nie?..adussss


 then nowdays kalau merajuk dia kata Najla nak lari dari umah dengan adik..bila tanya lari ke mana?..dia kata lari ke bawah aje ..hehehe

 

Coti Sekolah

  • Hubby not around for almost 1 week due to involve in MSSM in Kedah..time nie laa utk dia berehat but tak dapat laa juga..kesian dia.,so one week of his holiday burn laa..got to know that when balik from Kedah another week of holiday dia kena ke sekolah buat line padang utk sukan and mark papers form 4 pulak..*Sigghh **

  • parents busy finding a new crib ..80 % confirm insyaallah will be staying at Denai Alam too..Mum tertarik with Rossa Design at Denai Alam...so probably if the price OK will be their home sweet home..and just about 10 mins from our house

  • having quite a tough time at night managing the two kids without hubby around  coz dua -dua akan berbunyi serentak nak susu..and the kids nowday lambat plak nak zzz at night coz dua -dua nak main dulu sampai penat baru zzz..


  • next week Emran will turn 1 year old...Gossshhh dah big boy dah dia..Najla dah sibuk asking for party packs to be distribute among her friends kat sekolah..,maybe we will have just a small celebration for Emran..

               

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Daytrip..to Ipoh

 Today ada agenda penting.. menghadiri kenduri saffinass di Ipoh..sahabat merangkap adik angkat yang dah lama kenal dan lama dah berjanji akan datang makan nasi minyak dia...yess had always promise to attend her wedding since ?... sebagai "motivasi" untuknya mendirikan rumahtangga kerana usia makin meningkat..ahakss..every year dia menghitung tahun tapi belum sampai lagi jodohnya dan alhamdulillah tahun nie dia dah selamat bergelar isteri..:-)


  daytrip to Ipoh..quite "tricky" as hubby ada kerja..so had to handle the two kids alone..so ask my dear friend merangkap adik angkat juga Huda pergi bersama -sama ..thanks to my dear sis shatirah yang kasi pinjam Myvi coz wanna drive waja but Huda tak cekap nak pandu kereta manual...i definately could not drive as Emran for sure tak nak orang / duduk kat car seat lama -lama..and since he still pacify me when dia nak tdo..so had to asked huda to drive..

  started our journey around 10am..the day before Najla demam plak and hampir -hampir tak nak g Ipoh ahamdulillah dia dah ok this morning..ingat nak bawa Emran sorang aje and Najla stays @ TTDI but she insist to tag along..sampai nangis -nangis nak ikut g ipoh..

Journey to Ipoh..pergi agak jem juga from Rawang coz cuti sekolah baru bermula + today Public Holiday..R& R sume penuh dgn kereta mcm balik Raya laa plaks..hehehe

  Anyway..sampai Ipoh around 1.20pm...jumpa pengantin dia terkejut sangat and terlompat coz tak sangka kitorang sudi datang..hehehe...we hugged each other coz i guess i did not meet her a few years already..( berapa kali asik cakap nak datang Ipoh tak da rezeki gaks nak datang...)
she looks  lovely pakai jubah kaler cream sesuai laa dgn gelaran Ustazah Saffinass.. Cik Abe pun Ustaz

       Anyway had our lunch..amik -amik gambar..tunggu pengantin lelaki lambat sangat so we all terpaksa minta diri dulu..but sampai kat kereta sempat gaks tengok pengantin lelaki yang baru sampai..

      to my dearest Saffinass.. SELAMAT PENGANTIN BARU..moga jadi isteri yang solehah n moga berkekalan ke akhir hayat...ameeeen insyaallah..









 


abis bilik pengantin najla n emran explore..hihihi

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Approching our 6th years together..ALHAMDULILLAH

 Alhamdulillah pejam celik pejam celik dah masuk 6 tahun usia perkahwinan kami..alhamdulillah we manage to go thru susah payah bersama..

 we had been thru lots of things together..3 kali duk berjauhan sementara atas tuntutan belajar masa mula mula baru mendirikan rumahtangga...then berjauhan sementara 2 kali atas tuntutan kerjaya...hanya tuhan aje yg tahu perasaan kami mcm mana..we had to sacrifice our weekends to travel..travel..travel..

we also had been thru where "ada sesetengah orang yang tataulaa jenis manusia apa penuh dengan hasad dengki  pandang rendah pada kerjaya hubby sebagai teacher coz gaji "sengkek" tak laa beribu -ribu riban sebulan tapi tak apalaa janji duit itu halal..and moga kerjaya hubby mendidik anak orang lain itu "rezeki " untuk anak-anak kitorang nanti di masa hadapan

 alhamdulillah now we had our own home and syukur sangat with our Denai Alam home..and insyaallah moga di masa akan datang ada rezeki untuk kami buka bizness sendiri..

  to dearest hubby..moga ikatan perkahwinan yg kita bina akan berkekalan ke akhir hayat insya'allah..happy 6th anniversary...